New Horizons: Chapter 10

I kept going with the crew of the Event Horizon on drops. The more time I spent on stations the more I disliked them, and the more I was able to turn a blind eye to exotics in need. It wasn’t just humans; there were these avian type people with fine, downy feathers all over their bodies that I saw most commonly alongside humans.

Exotics weren’t just used as pets or sex slaves either. Very often they were being forced to work, providing free labor for their employers. Even on the last regulated station we visited, exotics weren’t paraded out in the open but I’d caught glimpses of them hidden in cars, in cages, behind closed doors. It was everywhere.

To the Shukasi Federation’s credit, any exotics discovered by Federation enforcers were naturalized into citizens and taken care of, but half the galaxy was a difficult amount of area to regulate and sometimes people fell through the cracks. As much as I longed for Earth, sometimes I wondered if it were so different.

How many times had I walked past the homeless and hungry on the street? Ignored the human trafficking rampant all over the world? Every time I spent money I was paying a handful of billionaires who ran the country and don’t get me started on politics. Yet I still wanted it back with all my heart, and thinking of how I was taken from there without my consent stirred visceral anger that I struggled to control.

“Water.” Gray plunked down a metal bottle with condensation on the sides on top of the oxygen recycler I was working on. After replacing the filters it still rattled, and I’d been trying to fix it for weeks. Honestly, I was pretty sure it was on its last leg, but I was hesitant to tell Lovath he needed to swap it for a newer model.

He’d been true to his word about the credits for each job being split evenly between the entire crew, and we were all making enough to feel stable. However, outfitting a brand new oxygen recycler—or even fancier, an oxygen generator—was a lengthy and wildly expensive proposition.

Worried that the moisture wouldn’t be good for the recycler, I grabbed the bottle, took a swig,  and put it on the floor instead. “Thanks Gray.”

“You’ve been working on that same machine for a while. Everything okay? I’ve seen Lovath work on it before as well.”

So maybe Lovath was already aware of the problem, then. Sighing, I ran my hand over my face. “Truthfully? I think it needs replaced. But I’m not telling Lovath that yet. Gonna keep it running for now.”

Gray’s face scrunched at that. “Why? Is it that horrible for you to talk to him? I can do it if you want.”

“It’s not that, actually.” Though my eyes did flick over the one hickey visible on his collarbone today, and I fought a wave of nausea. “I doubt he’ll believe me. Even if he does, we can’t afford the delay. It can take months to replace one of these and we don’t know how long Qwexil is going to spend in the Undoor DMZ.”

“I almost wish we wouldn’t go after him.” Gray’s voice was nearly inaudible.

“He kidnapped you, cut out your jabber, and delivered you to Torvan as a pet. Tracking down Qwexil is about the only thing Lovath and I can agree on, Gray.” I took another drink of water and got back to work. What I’d said wasn’t entirely true; going on drops with Lovath had given me the slightest bit of begrudging respect for how he operated. He was smart, and fantastically cool-headed in intense situations.

“Yeah, I just don’t like anyone endangering themselves for me. The Undoor DMZ is no joke, and I don’t like the thought of being so close to respian territory either.” Pausing, conflict warred on Gray’s face, then he flushed. “Not that I don’t want Qwexil caught. Lovath wants to kill anyone who’s ever hurt me and I’m not…opposed.”

I wanted a shower; his sappy tone gave me an icky feeling. But I also wanted Qwexil dead. Did that make me as bad as the smugglers I said I hated? Revenge murder wasn’t exactly acceptable where I was from, and wasn’t I saying I hated how loose Lovath and his crew were with the law? Yet I felt nothing but agreement at the idea of tracking down and killing Qwexil.

As much as I didn’t want being out in space to change me, I knew it was. Too long of this, and I’d be going back to Earth a completely different person. And, just like everything else, that filled me with bone-deep rage. Gray was too changed to go home; I knew that as much as I tried to deny it. When I managed to get back, I’d be going alone unless I forced him to go with me.

At what point would I be too changed to return as well?

“Well, it’s Lovath’s decision anyway, isn’t it? He says speak, you go ‘woof.’” I wasn’t looking him in the eye as I jabbed at him for no reason. That sense that I couldn’t control a single thing that was happening was rolling over me though, and I couldn’t shake the resentment at him for falling in love with an alien in the months we were apart.

A fucking alien.

I did my best to keep it out of my mind most of the time, but every time I focused on it, I just lost my cool. My idea of how I wanted my life to go slipped further and further through my fingers every damn day I spent out in the galaxy.

To my surprise, Gray just huffed instead of rising to my remark. “You know, I think being nasty is how you cope with being upset, Derrick. Maybe you should work on that. But for the record, Lovath would do anything I asked. Anything.”

And then he left, leaving me guilty and even angrier than before. I knew he was fucking right. Everything turned into a fight with everyone and it was exhausting, but I had so many reasons to be mad. So many reasons to be bitter. Wasn’t it allowed after being ripped from my home and losing the man I could have loved to an alien?

But I bottled it all up because that’s all I knew how to do.